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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210553">walking down grey road</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemuel_lurcher/pseuds/lemuel_lurcher'>lemuel_lurcher</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TnC Hellbound storyline [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Togainu no Chi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, Gen, Possibly Pre-Slash, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:13:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemuel_lurcher/pseuds/lemuel_lurcher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>just a little of pre-canonical Akira mood</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TnC Hellbound storyline [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>walking down grey road</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mb regular future note:<br/>English isn't my first language, not even the second so... well, you see that ^ ^<br/>Still better than googletranslate /have checked it, heh/ but corrections are always appreciated</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"Tell me what am I..."</em><br/>
<br/>
One of the apartments on the floor was always like empty.<br/>
Only rare clicks of the lock and far more rare light in the window in the depth of night were hinting someone’s living there.<br/>
Everything inside seemed rather untouched then just in place. And a layer of dust merely confirms that: the tenant wasn't so neat, he simply needed almost nothing here. In a small room there weren't any non-essential and even some completely essential things for living. As if the place tried it's best not to show someone's presence. A lonely dagger on a table and a hoody jacket on a bed looked just mistakenly here and were like feeling awkward themselves. In that place no one cared of. In the place where wasn't any difference if the lock would click again.<br/>
<br/>
Akira had left the family long time ago and they hardly bothered about that. However, their worries didn't bother Akira anyway. And government family restoration projects like that hardly bothered even its creators.<br/>
<br/>
Leaden clouds covered the sky, painted that colorless city outside the window rich grey. The grey seeped through the window glass, filled all the empty space of the bare room. It was getting dark more and more, twilight was falling too fast.<br/>
There wasn't any need to turn on the light. Akira was... okay.<br/>
<br/>
<em>"...tell me what am I for"</em><br/>
<br/>
The water was chilling his knuckles heated and bruised. Each time the blood on them was already dried and he had to thoroughly, roughly wipe all the red off with fingers.<br/>
In the Blaster everything was simple to the limit: strike so that you couldn’t be stroken back. Don't you stop. Or you'll loose your chance for the rest of the fight and all you could do will be painting grey ground with your bloody snot. No choice, no questions, no thoughts. Just emptying your mind — and by the end you would hardly realize why you've raised your hand this time.<br/>
Finally as for the prize you would have to watch blood and water going into the drain while something important, elusively valuable disappeared with them. Something that had made feel alive minutes ago.<br/>
Or maybe what the life was like itself.<br/>
<br/>
Of course Akira didn't think in such a way. Somewhere below his ribs all the distrubing feels of irreplaceable loss had been too familiar for too long. Habits do not bother.<br/>
In that sort of fun where everyone tried to get together he had neither friends nor allies. Although there was always a bunch of dudes that wanted him in a team or permanently tried to get as close as possible to such a fighter. Only how to get into someone's soul, if the owner himself didn't know the way there?<br/>
The only way he wanted to know was a road from home to the gathering place. With wintery leafless trees along it and the highest skies above - clear white to bright blue. Weeks of spring were gone one after another, and the wintery trees revealed themselves just dead.<br/>
Akira definitely wasn't lost in this life. He did not know how it is.<br/>
<br/>
<em>"Give me a name"</em><br/>
<br/>
Keisuke just got back into the habit of coming over with some meals. Still worried Akira’s stomach may be as empty as his place.<br/>
Seemed every time he started to cook right here — that was just for having an occasion to be by his friend somewhat longer. To gain some time for another empty conversation.<br/>
Just like:<br/>
“And still, why’s that — Lost?”<br/>
“For such a question,” — Akira muttered grudgingly from his bed, lying face to the wall with closed eyes.<br/>
A foreign word sounding cool, as if that dork didn’t know how everybody choose the stuff.<br/>
Keisuke was no better than anyone else. But sometimes he looked like the only one who could be lost indeed if Akira wasn’t there. And that felt like another little point for life to be a slightly more meaningful.<br/>
Maybe, just may-it-be, Keisuke was the first to start making <em>the one that's Akira</em> out of him — the one who he was becoming.<br/>
The one with no right to doubt. The one with a strength for both. The reliable one, the cear… well, just enough of that crap. He interrupted any thoughts glancing over his busy friend. But that glance of his had already become a little — for instance, hardly perceptible — brighter... in color?<br/>
Nice smell of an omurice filled the room.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Akira didn't exhaust himself with redundant thoughts. They were useless, as his life was utterly simple. Like a hit in a fight. Like Keisuke’s omurice. Like his weight on Akira’s shoulder everytime it came to that touching idiot’s mind that beer was definitely what they were in need of for tonight.<br/>
<br/>
While a voiceless soul was singing with someone’s pale lips high above a blind city far away.<br/>
Dancing in transparent blue of eyes.<br/>
Tangling in chestnut locks —<br/>
<br/>
Akira might not felt.<br/>
Someone had been feeling for both of them.<br/>
Someone was tapping that out for him with dirty rains. Out of broken roads of Toshima:<br/>
<br/>
<em>"Find me"</em></p>
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